Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
