I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
