she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
