You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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