He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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