Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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