We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
