I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
