its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
