I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
