his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize