You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hippo gnu deer
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
