Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize