i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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