don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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