well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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