your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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