When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
