It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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