Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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