I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
