you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
