is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
