I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Michael Bay diarrhea
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
