I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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