i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
