Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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