Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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