let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
