Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
