You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
