3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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