do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
