With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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