Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
