My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
