I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
