yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
