talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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