I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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