Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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