At least make sure they are 18
Why
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
