yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
