yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
