How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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