p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
