its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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