I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your penis caused this!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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