Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
