I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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