Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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