I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
