Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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