3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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