***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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