Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
