i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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