Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize