I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
