they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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