SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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