hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize