He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
MIDGETS
????
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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