i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
