I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
