Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
