It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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